July 23, 2007

Gahd. So much for my goal that i would definitely update my blog at least every other day . Boo! I haven’t updated for like what…..A WEEK??. So not good, i tell you. A lot have happened …tests, quizzes, HEARTACHES……That is why i haven’t been able to update my stuff here. boo.

I’m not updating this blog for the sake of the readers ( I know who you are. Thanks for commenting every once in a while here and buzzing me in ym whenever you guys sense something wrong or whatever . *hugs* ) but for my sake as well. After blogging for like at least 4 years, there is nothing more entertaining than going back to your archives and reading your past posts. It’s like you are warped into the past and you could see your “old” self and your “massive” problems then that seems to be so petty and funny now. LOL. πŸ˜‰


Today has been tough….

Everybody seemed so distant and lost.

I knew it would come to this eventually but i was just totally in denial and held on to that small glimmer of hope that you guys would change and move on together with me

You guys seemed happy so i ASSUMED that what you guys were showing me were GENUINE FEELINGS OF HAPPINESS. But i guess, you were just smiling with me….smiles…..FAKE SMILES.

Being somebody who is totally close to me, i expected that you guys would understand my personality. I assumed YET AGAIN that you guys knew….I could definitely shake the foundations of the STEREOTYPE OF A GIRL and along with this fact, it is really really hard for me to EXPRESS MYSELF. I would rather sulk in a corner than confront you or whoever with our issues or any issue that might concern me, you or anyone in particular. I AM NOT LIKE THAT. Not even you or someone WHO THINKS THEY KNOW ME DEEPLY, could change that.

Since you guys can’t confront me with our issues, you guys assume….assume things that are so petty and NOT EVEN TRUE. Then you BLAME those assumptions to ME….then it becomes MY FAULT.

My fault that i could not make you happy……my fault that i could not MEET YOUR fault that i am naturally loving and sweet to my friends….my fault that i try to be very friendly as much as possible…..

You guys may think that I DON’T CARE.

But i do. Geez, I CRIED FOR YOU GUYS.

But since I’m full of pride , i DIDN’T SHOW THAT I WAS WEAK. That your actions are affecting me. So i tried to look happy and all so that no one will ask anymore but then… guys took it very badly. I seemed COLD and INSENSITIVE.

Believe whatever you want. But all I’m saying is that…..before you guys listened to other people….you could have LISTENED TO MY SIDE first. I’m certainly making an effort there. I’m even asking people on what to do and all that. Please do consider that confronting you guys is twice as hard for me than for all of you…..But do give me a chance before you guys wallow in bitterness and hatred.

Super super thanks to Patsee, Cathy, Issa, Karl, Kirboinks ( thank you so much for the random text messages dear. ), Randee, Emil and Ralph R.

These guys offered comfort in more ways than they could ever imagine. Special thanks to Ralph R. who listened to my rants on the phone. *hugs* Thank you very very much….and yes, i ATE CHOCOLATES DEAR.


“Tataba ka, MASAYA KA NAMAN” –> Ralph R.


3 Responses to “Chocolates”

  1. Cathy Says:

    Aaaawwww Ara! 😦 Sana maging okay na soon! >:D<

  2. Albeen Says:

    Anung drama nanaman ito.. Ang haba ng hair ng lola mo.. hehehehehe.. kaya mo yan gurl.. have a happy period. 0_0; hahahahahahaha…. sorry.. sorry… wala lang talaga ako masabing matino.. don’t be senti-senti.. enjoy! ^_^ This are dark times Sandel~chan.. You gotta be tough, you gotta be brave.. You gotta…….. drink your milk so meron kang strong bones. πŸ˜› So yeah.. Be TOUGH!

  3. Patsee Says:

    Hi!!!! πŸ™‚ hahhaa. okay naman na kau eeehh dba? d m pa nakkwn2 s akin anu nangyari, next tym nlng pag may time kasi d n kta naabot dito sa ym. ay feel ko mamaya ma abot kta (tuesday night, sa ym)

    im so happpyy everythngggs okay. next time lalabas tayo na tayo. kahit lunch. but not now dahil hectic tayo nakakainis πŸ™‚ see you in school. i mis you!! πŸ™‚ (drama)

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