I’m officially old

July 31, 2007

Spent the whole day with my dad in Olongapo.

Gahd, it felt like we were having a “date”. Wee~ I haven’t bonded with my dad like this though. I miss it. โค

Unlike other teens out there who hates their parents or something quite close to that, i could count myself lucky that i have a very very healthy relationship with my parents…yeah, even with my dad. ๐Ÿ™‚

Even though there is no classes today ( St. Ignatius day i think ), i got up EARLY ( 6 am, yeah! ) and off we went to Olongapo. ^_^

We proceeded immediately to the bank because they needed to see me….yeah. Because our business in Olongapo is under my name, all the nittygritty paperworks should be signed by me directly. Originally, the paperworks were sent to Manila where i could just sign those legalities stuff but after some time, the managers of the banks said that they needed to see me as soon as possible. T.T Whoops.

 

Right then and there when i was signing and talking to the managers, i felt OLD. Yep. Pathetic, yeah.

 

They were really treating me like i really am THE owner of our business there and they seldom talked to my dad about it. Wooh, Goosebumps, i swear. To think, that i would be dealing with these shennanigans all my life. Gahd.

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Hey, we FREAKING WON!!!!!

 

*throws confetti and fairy stardusts everywhere*

 

Take that La Salle ๐Ÿ™‚ Lolz. ( ok, i shall stop now. *peace* )

 

Because of our hassledemandingtiringdamnit lab in Quanti Chem, almost all of us wasn’t able to watch the game live in Araneta. T.T Gahd, and to think that it was an ADMU-DLSU face-off! Booness. Why did the lab fall into a very hassle schedule!??! ( 1:30 to 5:30??!?!?!?! ) or better yet, why did the ADMU-DLSU game held on a freaking THURSDAY?!?!?!ย 

ย Unfair. La Salle even got a free day because of the game and what about for ADMU? It’s like NOTHING. No free cuts especially no FREE DAY! Geez.

While doing our lab work, all of us could hear the screams from the caf when the game started. Boo! You couldn’t imagine how frustrated i was when i heard those jeers of joy ( or was it because Casio scored again?!!? ) . I wasn’t even focusing on the lab anymore ( i didn’t follow the procedures very carefully at all )ย  that lead to a very bad result.

Because i didn’t have the heart to fabricate my LAST TITRATION, i grudgingly weighed another unknown again and proceeded to that painful heating and stuff. So yeah, i got delayed by 15 minutes because of that. Pathetic.

Derrick, Glen , Gie and Me went to the caf after our lab to watch the final quarter of the game. Gahd, too many people. O.o All of them were crammed inside the caf and all their eyes are tuned in to a very little t.v. ( probably a 21 inch by that size ) which had a BADBADBADBADBADBADBADBADBAD signal and didn’t have any sounds ( or it was just due to the fact that we were in the back )

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Oh yes, the sea of BLUE shirts. ๐Ÿ™‚

Since we only got to see the last quarter and the overtime ( well, we did see some of the final minutes of the third quarter ), i couldn’t give a decent comment on the game itself.

But all i could say is that:

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CHRIS TIU ROCKS MY WORLD!!!

He is pure love. โค

 

Oh yeah, i love the new guy as well –> KIRK LONG. ( I’m not really sure if that’s his name but yeah. ) Too much hot cagers for this season. wooh. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Bottomline: Me wants to watch game 2!!!!! Trisha lets watch live again this season!!! I so want to watch any Ateneo game live with you guys. Seriously.

 

Nakakamiss ang live crowd! Feel mo talaga yung tension! Yahoo! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

so yeah, on with the postlab. T.T

 

note: Pic of Chris Tiu is from the Alt-g website. ๐Ÿ™‚ Not mine . hihi

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Because there is no classes today, i decided to finally finish Book 7! Wooh! I did just that the whole day and didn’t even bother to do my prelab and other stuff for lab. Booyah.

I feel all pathethic because it took me freaking FIVE DAYS to finish the book. And i call myselfย  a HARRY POTTER fan!?!?!?! Geez. I tried to finish it last weekend but nooo…my eyes failed me. BLAH.

ย I hate spoilers…and people who spoil just for fun ( who thinks they are cool because they know the ending already and all that but doesn’t even know what a Horcrux is. Grrrr ), I wouldn’t write anything here that could spoil something for anyone. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gahd. I’m sad and ecstatic at the same time. I would definitely miss Harry and the gang. Geez, everyone will surely be missed! Knowing that i just finished the LAST INSTALLMENT was just too much but geez, I’m HAPPY!

Oh, JK Rowling you are a bonafide GENIUS. You are love at its finest ๐Ÿ™‚ Your imagination fascinates me and has forced me to be hooked in your made-up world of wonder. hahaha ๐Ÿ˜‰

So for the people who haven’t read it yet: DARN, READ IT ALREADY!!!

Please do forgive me but i just need to say this –> I LOVE YOU SNAPE! ^_^ I knew it! I never ever doubted you, i swear ๐Ÿ™‚ hihihihihihi

Chocolates

July 23, 2007

Gahd. So much for my goal that i would definitely update my blog at least every other day . Boo! I haven’t updated for like what…..A WEEK??. So not good, i tell you. A lot have happened …tests, quizzes, HEARTACHES……That is why i haven’t been able to update my stuff here. boo.

I’m not updating this blog for the sake of the readers ( I know who you are. Thanks for commenting every once in a while here and buzzing me in ym whenever you guys sense something wrong or whatever . *hugs* ) but for my sake as well. After blogging for like at least 4 years, there is nothing more entertaining than going back to your archives and reading your past posts. It’s like you are warped into the past and you could see your “old” self and your “massive” problems then that seems to be so petty and funny now. LOL. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway…..

Today has been tough….

Everybody seemed so distant and lost.

I knew it would come to this eventually but i was just totally in denial and held on to that small glimmer of hope that you guys would change and move on together with me

You guys seemed happy so i ASSUMED that what you guys were showing me were GENUINE FEELINGS OF HAPPINESS. But i guess, you were just smiling with me….smiles…..FAKE SMILES.

Being somebody who is totally close to me, i expected that you guys would understand my personality. I assumed YET AGAIN that you guys knew….I could definitely shake the foundations of the STEREOTYPE OF A GIRL and along with this fact, it is really really hard for me to EXPRESS MYSELF. I would rather sulk in a corner than confront you or whoever with our issues or any issue that might concern me, you or anyone in particular. I AM NOT LIKE THAT. Not even you or someone WHO THINKS THEY KNOW ME DEEPLY, could change that.

Since you guys can’t confront me with our issues, you guys assume….assume things that are so petty and NOT EVEN TRUE. Then you BLAME those assumptions to ME….then it becomes MY FAULT.

My fault that i could not make you happy……my fault that i could not MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS.my fault that i am naturally loving and sweet to my friends….my fault that i try to be very friendly as much as possible…..

You guys may think that I DON’T CARE.

But i do. Geez, I CRIED FOR YOU GUYS.

But since I’m full of pride , i DIDN’T SHOW THAT I WAS WEAK. That your actions are affecting me. So i tried to look happy and all so that no one will ask anymore but then…..you guys took it very badly. I seemed COLD and INSENSITIVE.

Believe whatever you want. But all I’m saying is that…..before you guys listened to other people….you could have LISTENED TO MY SIDE first. I’m certainly making an effort there. I’m even asking people on what to do and all that. Please do consider that confronting you guys is twice as hard for me than for all of you…..But do give me a chance before you guys wallow in bitterness and hatred.

Super super thanks to Patsee, Cathy, Issa, Karl, Kirboinks ( thank you so much for the random text messages dear. ), Randee, Emil and Ralph R.

These guys offered comfort in more ways than they could ever imagine. Special thanks to Ralph R. who listened to my rants on the phone. *hugs* Thank you very very much….and yes, i ATE CHOCOLATES DEAR.

 

“Tataba ka, MASAYA KA NAMAN” –> Ralph R.

Back off Harry Potter Book 7, my entry about this last installment to J.K Rowling’s masterpiece would have to wait because this space is reserved for my boy best friend. ^_^

Happy Happy birthday to Jan Kirby Hernandez!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

*bubbles and balloons everywhere*

 

( oh my, he is going to kill me by posting his picture here. LOLZ. *hides* )

 

Sorry dear that i was just able to message you on your birthday and that i wasn’t able to talk to you on YM ๐Ÿ˜ฆ So so so sorry dear!! T.T *hugs*

 

Do take care, okie? Always remember that I’m always here for you, no matter what. Come back here already!!! I want some “libre”! hehehehe

T.T

July 11, 2007

This would be a frustrated post that covers most of the issues that I’m really really trying to resolve so bear with it. I so need an outlet……

I’m really really frustrated today that i don’t even know where to start.

I didn’t know that it would hurt this much. I thought that this would be an issue that i could just easily shrug off when it becomes too heavy to bear. But this one, it totally tore my heart into little pieces….

I felt that i wouldn’t survive , but there were people who comforted me in their own way. You deserve my love, dears ๐Ÿ™‚

God knows how much i wanted to cry….to breakdown….

 

But the inner me who is made of pride told me to hold them back…..just FREAKING HOLD THOSE TEARS BACK! It’s no use anyway….No one will understand, no one would care…..because THEY DO NOT KNOW.

To show the people that i am tougher than i look….to show them that i could survive this…

But there are just times when my feelings take over me. I become too emotional than usual. T.T Probably girls are really like that. They make SIMPLE things very very COMPLICATED.

I just realized that it is so hard to let your frustrations out especially when no one knows the reason behind it. You get angry and NO ONE KNOWS WHY,ย  You get frustrated and NO ONE KNOWS WHY, You get jealous and NO ONE KNOWS WHY……..

In my case, a handful of people know but i don’t open myself up to them that much. I don’t want to drag them in my own misery and make them feel miserable themselves……

This is TOO MUCH , that I’m just going to keep this all to myself.

I had enough of “opening up to people” or “showing your emotions”….THEY DON’T WORK, I SWEAR. Believe me, i know.

Really, I’m literally TRAUMATIZED ( don’t ask ) when it comes to that “simple” thing that everybody could do –> SHOWING WHAT YOU FEEL. Gawd, it is so damn hard that one day, i might just ram my car into something big and solid and END WITH IT!

So yeah, for most people i may seem “transparent” or you could not figure what i really think and what i really feel……i know its hard for YOU, but it is TOTALLY HARDER for me too. I want to express what i feel, but i can’t because….

IT WOULD ALWAYS BE USED AGAINST ME

 

I don’t want that to happen so i shut myself from everybody else. Faking smiles here and there and making it appear that I’m the happiest person in the world….but nobody knows that I’m actually dying inside…little by little.

 

Everything is so not falling into place. I’m losing people…..but I’m still holding on. Don’t give up guys, please. I don’t want to lose anyone of you. You guys can’t just walk away like nothing happened! T.T Each and everyone of you is special to me and it kills me inside to see that you guys don’t even see that…..I love you all, i swear. T.T

Coding=Boring

July 9, 2007

Gawd, i hate mondays.

Not because its the first day of the week, but the fact that it’s CODING for me. BLAH. So yeah, here i am in the Rizal lib typing these senseless words because I am too tired to study and too bored to make a decent entry. Geez, one hour and a half to go before i could go home and sleep study already. Even though this is THE library, i still can’t study…just because.

Got to school pretty early today because i read my philo reading over and over again….trying to absorb or just understand what Padre Roque Ferriols said in the first six pages of his “Meron” article. Seriously, it turned my brain upside down. You see, the article used simple Tagalog words but they were just freaking hard to understand… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

“Samakatuwid, kapag binigkas ang meron, hindi ang konsepto ang binibigkas, kundi ginagamit ang konsepto upang itukoy ang isang talagang umiiral , talagang meron at nagmemeron. Ang tinutukoy ng konsepto ay hindi konsepto. At ang paguunawa ko sa tinutukoy ng konsepto ay umaapaw sa konsepto. Sa aking paguunawa ay kumakapit ako sa mismong meron at sabay tumatalab sa at tinatablan ng meron“.

 

If you could explain to me what that means, I’ll give you a cookie.

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It’s official: I MISSED WATCHING UAAP. T.T

And i miss my UAAP partner-in-crime, Trisha Valera. Nood uli tayo ng UAAP, Trish!

While watching the game, i found myself wishing that the other players who already graduated to be there as well. This includes JC Intal, Macky Escalona, Doug Kramer….and of course, L.A. TENORIO. It just doesn’t feel right (?) without them. T.T Oh well…..because of this, it makes me feel that I am literally OLD. >.> I am a freaking college junior! PSH.

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Friday sucks

July 6, 2007

Yeah big time!

I got up so early today just to do my freaking Philo paper ( which is actually our long test. BLAH ) I’m so not used in doing papers on the same day that they are due. T.T I so wanted to do it last night but sadly, i still had a lab report to attend to.

Got up at 7am and sort of finished the whole paper by 2 pm . T.T I left immediately to go to school since my chem class starts at 3:30 pm.

And lookie here, i was stuck in one of the worst traffic jam ever!!! Geez…..too many cars!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

I arrived in school at exactly 3:30 pm and i rushed immediately to my chem class. Fortunately, my teacher’s laptop got all cranky so her slides weren’t showing in the projector so she haven’t started discussing anything yet. *Phew*

Discussed all about those titrations and stuff. GAWD….dragging.

After chem class, me , Derrick and Gie went to CTC to edit our papers ( and lab reports ). It was 4:30 pm by that time and the lab report was due at 5 pm to me and Derrick rushed that first before editing our Philo paper.

“I have never been this stressed when it comes to my paper……”

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Hassle. O.o

July 5, 2007

Talked to Emil early in the morning before our Epi class. The conversation was not very very in-depth and we just talked in codes so people will not know what we are talking about. But dude, You’ll get through this, i know. The freaking situation is so complicated that I am confused as well. O.o Gawd…….life’s hard. Darn.

We were dismissed early for Epi and sort of gave us an assignment which deals with math and statistics. Oh dear…assignments AGAIN.

Glen, Gie and I proceeded immediately to Dela Costa to get the question for our Philo long test. Because we were such lazy bums, we just took a picture of the piece of paper containing the directions and questions for our long test. My phone, donning a 3.2 megapixel cam got itself useful for me that day. The picture was CLEAR! hahaha Goodie.

After getting the questions, Gie made me listen to Sayonara Bus by Yuzu while we were walking. Wow! Catchy song! Hehe. It reminded me of Orange Range because the style was very much the same or probably all Japanese boy bands sing that way or something. Hihi.

( edit: Damn it, Gie. Now, Sayonara Bus is in endless loop in my itunes! Argh )

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